Friday, June 10, 2005

Update on My Slut Bird Friend

It's been pretty gloomy around here for weeks. The sun doesn't come out until mid-morning at the earliest. Hence I haven't been getting up at the ass crack of dawn like I did a month ago. And neither has my slut bird friend or her wide array of suitors. Well, for whatever reason, both the sun and the birds woke me this morning. But the noise is different...

My slut bird friend is no longer being boned by every avian creature in the sky. No, she's adapted to the rigors of motherhood. Someone scored! My morning wasn't interrupted by the squawks and chirps of passion. It was interrupted by the ungrateful peeps and screams of hunger! Triplets or quadruplets, I'm guessing. Her nest is in the corner of the awning of my balcony, and as soon as I step out there, they all go silent. Like I'm not supposed to know that they're there. Like I haven't had to listen to their incessant bitching all morning.

Apparently the word has gotten out to her other slut friends. I've got more visitors now than I did before when she was giving herself away for free. I open the door to the balcony, and 4-6 birds fly off surprised. Like they were teenage boys caught peeping in the bedroom windows (sort of reminds me of my dad and my sisters' "boyfriends", but that's a different story). The girlie friends come by and they seem to carry on a conversation about how cute the new ones are. And in true slut form, she hasn't a clue as to who the father is, so all the possible candidates also show up and strut around, showing their friends that, yes, I'm not shooting blanks, and no, she's not asking me to be a part of their lives, and does is get any better than this??

I figure that in a few weeks, the young ones will fly the coop, and my slut bird friend is going to be feelin' horny again, and the whole cylce will repeat itself. My mornings will once again be filled with the sounds of horny bird rapture. That'll be OK though. By that time I'll be wanting to get up early for mid-summer fun myself. I'll keep you updated...
iTunes You Can't Fall Up, Tower of Power

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