Thursday, December 22, 2005

My Three Christmas Gifts

These are the individuals that will be the recipients of my Christmas generosity. I thought about these long and hard yesterday coming through South Dakota, so I hope they're appreciated!

First off--the Big Stick With Nails goes to juliepatchouli. Julie--I have taken our friendship and stomped on it, ignored it, neglected it, and basically acted in a manner so shameful that I'm embarrassed even to admit ever having one. I'm not sure why/how it happened, and I apologize. I don't know how exactly to make it up to you. Or if I can. But the Big Stick With Nails can be used on me, or a likeness of me, anytime you feel the need to use it. I hope that I can renew things after the first of the year....
Aughra, ever since I first stumbled onto your blog, I was mesmerized. Your openess about sex and drugs and life have been truly a great read. You have a great relationship with your immediate family, and your relationship with your father is one that many of us out here envy! You have shown us that attractive, intelligent blondes can be something other than what Hollywood shows us!
I know that you would desperately like to be pregnant again, so my gift to you would be a whole test tube full of your eggs and Fodge's horny sperms all getting along like, well, an egg and horny sperms. I hope that it happens for you soon!
Lastly, to Contessa. You tend to post only sporadically, and that's OK. But I find that when you do, you are usually not very happy. Now while it's presumptuous of me to think that everyone's lives should be happy all the time, or that yours isn't, I find myself constantly wondering how I could help you out. So for you, I'm giving 2 bags (the giant-sized bags!) of pixie dust. You sort of remind me of a fairy, so this should be right up your alley. You only need just a pinch of the stuff, so this should last you for years. Any time you're down, just sprinkle a little of this up in the air, then run underneath it quick to let it land on you! Hopefully you won't need use of the second bag, and can spread it around for others.
Now you guys need to let us know that you've posted your lists, and to whom you're giving. Let us know if you decided to post an optional HNT picture, too!

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