Re-run

I was going through my archives today, and this is what I wrote 1 year ago. It's as pertinent as it was back then. Enjoy!

With apologies to LBB, who seems to make these lists as easily as God makes little green apples, I've come up with a list of gripes and observations. If I offend anyone with this list, grow up, deal with it, and don't take it personally!

--Why do some people feel the need to use their turn signal only after they're halfway through the turn? I believe the intent of the signal is to warn others that you're going to turn, not to confirm that you've actually started the turn.

--The word "then" implies a reaction to something, or a reference to time; the word "than" is used in a comparative situation. The words are not interchangeable!! "Colder then a witch's tit" is wrong. "Colder than a witch's tit" is correct. Get it right, people!

--Regardless of how good you may think that your singing voice is, asking if you can sing with the band is an invitation for disaster. It is not something that the band looks forward to, and you don't have the talent to do it without a rehearsal. And thinking that being drunk helps is just wrong. Go back to the dance floor and make a fool of yourself out there.

--Country music has no business using a full string section and harp in any song, regardless of who records it. If you can't do it with one or two fiddles, then you've overwritten the song.

--The flat tummy seen between the low riding pants and the high riding shirt is not a bad thing. But who told obese teenaged girls that their gut that hangs over their pants (making MY beer gut look sexy) is something that anyone wants to see?

--Blond-haired, blue-eyed, white cheerleaders named Tiffany will never be gangsta. Someone should tell them not to try.

--One more time. Jethro Tull and Lynyrd Skynyrd are band names, not real people. J. Geils and Spencer Davis are real people, but not the frontmen of their respective bands. There is no world famous band known as the Almond Brothers.

--Women and 4-way stops. Why is there a problem?

--Why must soloists try to sing the "Star-Spangled Banner" slowly and add totally inappropriate vocal pyrotechnics? It just makes a horridly difficult song that much worse.

--When emailing, learn the difference between "Reply" and "Reply to all".

--Same thing with forwarding. You are allowed to delete non-essential info, and in fact are encouraged to do so!

--Why do people think that, once they've made a commitment to something, it's OK to back out of it?

--When you're out dancing to LIVE music (the only real music, thank you), don't ask the band if they know "Y.M.C.A.", "Proud Mary", "Freebird", or "Achy-Breaky Heart". Chances are they might, but they're not going to play it for you.

--Along the same lines--if the band is a funky horn band, don't ask for any Judas Priest, Marilyn Manson or ABBA.