Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Man Music

I am such a music geek. In a prior lifetime, not too long ago, I used to manage a local independent music store. CDs, tapes, etc. You remember, back when you had to go to a store to buy your music, rather than downloading it. One of the things that I was able to do was order CDs at cost, and thus I ended up with about 1500 CDs at home. If I were to play them 24/7, it would take months to get through. But I digress.

I've made another purchase. I heard the latest Miller Lite ads on the radio, and they sounded (if the page is "unavailable", try refreshing it, twice if necessary) like the old NFL Films, complete with the driving percussion, that punching brass, and the narration that was so deep and resonant. It got me to thinking that there probably was some sort of collection of that old NFL music. So I did some searching. Oh my, was I ever blessed!

Autumn Thunder: 40 Years of NFL Films Music is a 10-CD set, comprised of about 183 tracks (mostly less than 3 minutes each) of some of the most glorious music you've ever imagined. And now I'm the proud owner of my own set! As I tore the wrapper from the set, you could smell the scent of testosterone escaping from within, swirling around your head like a temptress' veils. As you listen, particularly to the music from the early years, you feel the manliness surging in your veins. The only other music that comes close to doing the same are the soundtracks to Conan the Barbarian and Gladiator. You can feel your beard actually growing! You stand taller, your voice gets a little deeper, and your muscles quiver, especially "that" one. Women who hear the music are affected too. Their breasts become firmer, their lips start to tremble (not those!), and they can feel the rush of excitement seething throughout their bodies. Though some just lose two cream colored lace bras and a baby blue thong. Ah, but not all of the music is brutish. There are some softer tracks, as man is not just an animal of lust! Real men have that gentle side as well. Gentle, but driven by manly hormones. I haven't listened to a great deal of this collection yet. It will take some time. But so far, I have noticed that each piece has its own character--proud, defiant, defeated, victorious, hopeful. Truly the music of our lives!

I bet it would make a good soundtrack to a porno movie too!

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