Friday, November 19, 2010

2010 can just suck it...

It's been a long day. Lots of things I want to write, but don't want to write. I'll keep many details out...

The short story--Dad got up early this morning to pee. Mom didn't realize he hadn't come back to bed until about two hours later. Without going into detail, she found him collapsed in the bathroom. No way to really know what happened. Other than it was unexpected. His health problems have been mentioned numerous times here. He probably suffered a heart attack.

We didn't waste time getting the funeral arrangements started. That will be on Tuesday. Cremation will take place later today, after S1 makes it to town and gets to say her goodbyes. The rest of us got to see him today. Honestly, he looked better than he has in weeks. Probably says a lot about his health right there.

S2 has been pretty stoic. Of course, she went through this with her husband 5 months ago. And then again with her FIL just last month. It's like old hat by now. Which is good, because we're all numb.

S3 is a blubbering mess. She's the baby of the family. She's always been like that. It would cause concern if she weren't.

S1 and BIL1.2 will fly in from Portland in the afternoon. Being the only one away from home, she took it hard, but I think she's leveled out some. Shock does that to a person.

BIL3 is taking it hard, but not as hard as when BIL2 died. Three of the four grandchildren have been with us all day. They're quiet, but sad. Two of them have just lost both of their grandfathers in less than a month.

Me? I'm doing ok. I cannot tell you how much I've appreciated the Blogger/Facebook comments and the emails. Many of you did the "I'm here for you" thing, and that's also greatly appreciated. I know that there's not much else to offer. Not much more to say. And that's OK. There are many of you who I wouldn't hesitate to contact.

But that's not the way I deal with things. I'm very internal in these matters. It's not the first time I've had to deal with something tragic, and it won't be the last. I have my mechanism in place. I'm going to be fine. But it's still nice to know I've got support!

All I'd like to see now is normalcy. If I could dig a hole in Mom's back yard and place his ashes in there and be done with things, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But that's not how it works. Four days of visitors, and hugs, and tears, and "who was that?"s, and decades of photos, and funeral plans and a myriad of other things. I love crowds of strangers. I really do. I hate crowds of people whom I have a slight inkling of knowing. And there's going to be a lot of them. I want it to be over with, and it hasn't even started.

So in the spirit of normalcy, I'll be back here as much as I can. I'll be back to work on Monday, and working as much as I can. The busiest part of the symphony season starts right after Thanksgiving weekend, so that's going to be a blessing. The Grizzly/Bobcat game is still on Saturday, and we're not going to miss it (and the bet with Gucci is still on!). We're going to be ok. After all, we've had enough practice this year...

This is after we took Mom out for her 75th birthday.
Dad's hair is goofy, only because it was windy!

19 comments:

Ell said...

Dearest O, cope however you need to love. The grief is yours to do what you will, the memories are yours to replay, the tears when they come are yours too - but you are certainly not alone. You're in our thoughts and hearts. I'm wishing you strength and peace dear man.

Ell

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

You've got a handsome family there, Os.

This might be small solace, but if he went quickly like that, then know it's a blessing.

I see so many people rot away in the hospital -- painful and undignified way to go.

I hope you mourn quickly and get back to feeling at peace.

212degreedesigns said...

I'm sorry Os, and you have our love.

MichaelRyerson said...

Longtime visitor although I don't think I've ever left a note. There just doesn't seem to be anything a stranger might say that won't sound trite and yet I'm compelled to send along my condolences and tell you, for what it's worth, you (and your handsome family) will be in our thoughts down here in Houston.

TUG said...

That's a lovely picture of the family. I hope your mom is doing OK, at least as well as can be expected. I totally understand how you feel about the normalcy thing. I'm the same way.

nitebyrd said...

You have a beautiful family. Good thoughts being sent your way.

Gucci Mama said...

Great picture, Os. Again, so sorry for your loss.

In the spirit of normalcy, baby, I hope you know that you and your stupid griz (not worth the extra effort to depress the shift key for a capital letter) are going down. DOWN.

Go Cats!

Osbasso said...

Not worth the effort to depress the shift key, but obviously worth the effort of 75 additional keystrokes??? You ARE a Griz fan!

Thanks for the normalcy, Gucci! And thanks to all for your thoughts...

Gucci Mama said...

I KNEW you'd pick up on that. Dammit.

BTExpress said...

When I go, I hope it's fast too. I'd hate to linger like my wife did. It's so difficult knowing it's going to happen, but never know when.

(((HUGS))) my friend.

Emmy said...

Hugs to you, Os! That picture when you posted it on FB made me smile - a happy family on a clearly happy occasion. The perfect way to remember it.
Hugs!
~Emmy

suburbanslut said...

Great looking family, Os! Lots of love and strength coming your way for the days ahead. You know where I am, if you need anything.

xoxo
-m

Chickie said...

I'm so sorry.

Vixen said...

Huge....HUGE...*hugs*

I'm so very sorry.....

Amber said...

*hugs*

KittyCat said...

What a beautiful family you have.

xoxoxox

Lee Ann said...

Wow, Rest in Peace to your father. I am so sorry sweetie. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers...take care of yourself.
LY!
<3

Carnalis said...

I'm so sorry Os

My love and condolences xx

Autumn said...

gorgeous family photo, and wind makes it more natural. :)

i love you. that's all.

xoxo