Tuesday, April 14, 2009

TMI Tuesday #182 - Dance Edition

OK, before I get into the actual TMI questions, some basic information about my dancing past needs to be addressed. First and foremost, I am a musician. I play in a band. Contrary to popular belief, one does not play in a band because he can't dance--it's because one chooses not to dance. There's an important difference there. In actuality, I generally DO dance when I'm playing. It's not a pretty sight. I dance like a white boy. And when we do "Play That Funky Music", then we all get to break out our white boy moves. Again, it ain't pretty.

Second point--my mother taught me how to swing dance when I was maybe a freshman in high school. At the time, I really didn't appreciate the record collection she had, and unfortunately, most of it no longer exists. But I think I salvaged the 45 of "In the Mood". She taught me well. I used that knowledge to my advantage during my college days (always fighting against the evils of disco). I'm not sure how my sisters learned, but S2 and I got to be pretty good partners any time we had the chance to show off. Until about 1986 or so. The night I split my sister in half.

I'll spare you most of the details, but suffice it to say that copious amounts of alcohol were involved. I tried one of those "flip-the-girl-over-your-back" moves that you always see on the movies. She wasn't ready for it, and we'd never tried it before. Lesson One: NEVER lock elbows! We did, and I drew my arms together, trying to flip her all the way over. Meaning she was opening up like a Cornish game hen. (Remember that scene from the first "Alien" movie? The first time we see blood and gore? When the baby alien pops out of John Hurt's chest?) The final damages? A cracked sternum, a bruised heart, and an abnormal EKG. And a heaping helping of embarrassment. I broke her. Couldn't even pick up her baby girl, my first niece, out of the crib. And yet, she still talks to me! Honest to God, I haven't danced since.

So now, with that history out of the way, here's the TMI questions/answers:

1. If you could describe your personality through a dance what would it be? - "Dance of the Hours" by Ponchielli. This is how it looked in Disney's "Fantasia". A hippo in a tutu, dancing without a care about what others may think. It fits.

2. What about describing your sex life through a type of dance? - The Zombie (is there such a dance?)
3. What's one move on the dance floor sure to turn you on? - I don't know... When the clothes start coming off? (Oh, I guess lap dances don't happen on the dance floor...)
4. Is there a dancer you would love to be with? (Dancer can be used as loosely as you want!) - Santa's Dancer would be sorta cool.
5. What moves do you pull out to impress someone new? - The Batdance (not Travolta's. Adam West!). That always gets the women!.

Be sure to check out the other TMIers!

No comments: