Sunday, June 06, 2010

Sad, sad, sad

It's been an ugly, ugly weekend. Lots of tears. Lots of laughs. Lots of a really weird combination of laughing and uncontrollable sobbing at the same time. I went to my sister's house on Saturday morning. The first two people who meet me at the door are my 20-something nieces. Who just lost their father less than 12 hours earlier. Then my baby sister and her husband, who just lost their best friend less than 12 hours earlier. Then I saw my mom, who just lost the father of her oldest grandchildren less than 12 hours earlier. Then I saw my sister, who just lost her husband, her soulmate, her best friend, the love of her life less than 12 hours earlier.

Actually, she was holding up quite well. Somewhat business-like, which is exactly what I would have expected from her. She wasn't sitting like a lump of jello in a corner feeling sorry for herself. She was gracious when meeting the string of guests and relatives that came over. Breaking down for a moment with each new person (as did the rest of us), then gathering herself and doing what she could to comfort those same new people. I don't doubt that she'll melt down at some point, but it won't be for a few days yet. That's the way she is. The nieces had friends that came over, so that was good for them, though they both ran back to their rooms for some alone time more than once. The poor dog looked lost though. She, too, lost her protector less than 12 hours earlier.

It's still not exactly clear what happened. An autopsy was performed Saturday, but the results won't be back for a bit. I won't go into details here. If you want to know, email me, and I'll be happy to fill you in on what I know. But I will say that it was his heart, he died immediately and quietly, in the five minutes that my sister went upstairs to get into her pjs and brush her teeth.

There's a Vigil Mass on Tuesday night, and the funeral on Wednesday morning. There's going to be hundreds of people there. Literally. Ray was a high profile person in this town. For a number of reasons. You can see the headline of the Sunday morning paper below. Not buried inside. Not on the bottom of page one. But the banner headline. Click on the picture if you want to read what the article had to say.

11 comments:

southerngirl said...

A humbling reminder of our fragility... blessings to you and yours baby.

XO

Sam said...

I am so sorry for your loss. *hugs*

Sa said...

My thoughts are with you. Please tell us if we can do anything. xoxo

Cheeky Minx said...

I think southerngirl summed it up with eloquence...

He sounded like an incredible leader, mentor, sportsman, friend, father, husband, man.

You're in my thoughts. xx

reluctantprincess said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing the article - it sounds like he was a great man and will be missed by many whose lives he touched.

Robyn said...

Luvs ya...... hope your family is doing alright.

IveyLane said...

So sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.

Ivey

Joanna Cake said...

Big hug x

I went to two funerals in the space of a month - each time I was older than the person we were mourning. One was a car crash, the other a suicide.

All you can do is live life to the full and love the people who are important as hard as you can.

My heart goes out to you and your family x

MinorityReport said...

Heartbreaking.

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

Midwestern City Boy said...

I am very sorry for your loss. You have our deepest sympathies. Your BIL sounded like a great guy.

Little Minx said...

Os,
I'm just catching up with this. He sounds like a wonderful man who lived a rich life. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

xo