Farewell HNT

Well, I can't promise anything, but this should be the last reference to my brother-in-law's death. I can't begin to thank everyone individually for the condolences you've passed on to me and my family. But thank you all anyway. Of course, it's a little weird to try to explain to your sister that so-and-so from Alabama offers her condolences... Then again, they're all used to my flitting around the country to meet the funny people from the other side of the computer monitor, so they take it in stride.

I remember my first impressions of Ray. I was home during the summer of my college years. Dad was playing in the derby after the first round of the city golf championship (a derby is a mini-tournament among the top golfers, and there's betting action, a gallery following, cheering even...it's a golf thing). Anyhoo...Dad has made it to the fourth hole. A long par-5, with a severe right dogleg off the tee. The big hitters would cut the corner, but have to hit it long and hard and over some huge cottonwoods. The first two golfers took the safe route and hit the "safe" shot down the middle.

As Dad gets up to the tee, this juvenile delinquent in bib overalls, long straight hair below his neck, a full beard and a beer in his hand (maybe 16 years old) yells out, "C'mon Bud, hit it over the trees!" Now, that wouldn't have meant much, except that this same delinquent could have grabbed that club and easily hit it over the trees, outdistancing everyone standing there. So Dad steps back, re-aims for the trees, took a mighty whack at it, and promptly duck hooks it out of bounds on the left side of the fairway. That was the point where my mother informed me that that was my sister's boyfriend.

Ray cleaned up quite a bit from those days, but he still knew how to push my dad's buttons. There's a thousand stories I could tell about Ray. But I won't bore you with them. Let's just say that he was a gentleman, and a nice guy, and a hard worker. He was a people person, which he had to be in his position. Yet he was not one whom you could steamroll into a decision that he hadn't already thought out completely.

I've often times stated that I think it should be a rule that no one could marry before the age of 30. Ray and my sister are one of the exceptions that prove the rule. They were married for 25 years, and dated for about 5 or 6 before that. Sometimes that whole monogamy thing works! He's been a vital member of this family for over 30 years. He's going to be sorely missed...

Someone asked if there was any anger in the family. Not that I could tell. Couldn't be angry with him, as it wasn't suicide. And he was the most health-conscious one in the family (ran 3x/week, trimmed all the fat off his steak, only ate it well-done). Can't be angry at family, as there were no fights or conflicts among us. Can't be angry at strangers, as it wasn't an accident or other violent end. Can't be angry with God, as that generally has proven to be counter-productive. I think everyone is trying to focus on the good memories, as there's not really any bad ones that I'm aware of.

I thought about taking a picture of him lying in his casket for HNT, but that would probably be a bit too much, so I give you a picture of Ray (wearing his own version of the OsShirt!) and the rest of the Os siblings/husbands while drinking beer at Carlos'n Charlies in Cozumel. These are the times we're going to remember/miss the most. Gonna miss you Ray!

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“ '...The blow job in the library is the very essence of it, the sanctified transgression, the campus black mass.' Janie weighed maybe a hundred pounds, no more than five feet tall, if that, a little blonde who looked as if you could pick her up and throw her around, and she was the college’s dirty diva….But she was neither stupid nor a slut. Janie was someone who knew what she was doing. She stood in front of you, small as she was….: this is what I am, this is what I do, if you don’t like it, it’s too bad..."

You might recognize this cute little behind. Or you might think you do. Or you won't. Regardless, she'll be revealed Thursday afternoon. Be sure to stop by and see if you're right!

If you got around to the HNTs, you should know who this is. It's Janie, over at "100 Ways to Be Perverse..." Stop by and see who the hand belongs to, too!

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Got a nice crew over at "...the Other HNT" this week. My normal routine/schedule was a bit messed up this week, obviously, so be sure to check back later to see if any latecomers were added. As always, it's NSFW over there!

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Stop by the OsShirt site to see what's been happening. Rumor has it that it's going to be headed off on a trans-Atlantic flight in the near future!

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Got a question you're dying to ask me? The white box over there in my sidebar is the place to ask! Anonymously even!

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