Sunday, June 16, 2013

Father's Day Weekend

Father's Day weekend has always been one of those weekends when we all got together.  It was usually the first weekend together after school got out for everyone.  And it always fell within a few days of my dad's birthday, so it was always a double celebration.  We all drank lots of beer, spent time outdoing each other with stories, sneaking into the kitchen and "testing" the potato salad, and soaking in the smell of the grill as the burgers or steaks were sizzling.  Earlier in the day, there was sure to be some golf played, and all was right in the world.

Then it wasn't...

The year was 2010.  Not the best of years for this family, as we'd learn by the end of December.  BIL2 had died unexpectedly earlier in the month.  Dad was having issues with post-op complications.  Nothing life-threatening, but he just wasn't up to any sort of gathering. And to tell the truth, none of us were.  Ray's death really threw us for a loop, and even though we'd all put on a pretty brave face, the thought of getting together to celebrate for Father's Day just didn't sit right.  So we passed on the weekend.  Little did we know that we'd never have the chance again.  Ray's dad died in October, and my dad died in November.

All of a sudden, Father's Day meant nothing for the family.  At least in the way we'd celebrated in the past.  And we haven't done anything for it since.  I'm sure that BIL3 is getting his share of loving from my sister and her kids, but that's it.  Today would have been a special day, too, since Dad's 80th birthday was yesterday, and my baby sis and BIL3's wedding anniversary is tomorrow.  But we're doing nothing.

I think that because of the bday/Father's Day convergence this weekend, I've been a bit down.  Reading everyone's FB posts about their dad, or their husbands as dads, sort of hit hard this year.  I don't mope around or anything like that--it just hit me harder yesterday that he's not around.  I spent most of the day in the office (post on that coming soon!) keeping busy.  Then my mind would wander to various memories of me and Dad.

Then it dawned on me--I HAVE those memories.  Because I had a great relationship with my dad.  And so many don't.  I have difficulty comprehending what it would be like not having it.  Having to deal with an alcoholic father, or a father who spent more time in jail than out, or worst of all--an absentee father (which I think would be the worst).  So, while I still find myself a little sensitive that I don't have the opportunity to buy my dad another tie (which I NEVER bought for him!), I'm finding that the constant "dad" things have made me spend more time than usual reliving memories.  And you know what?  That's not such a bad thing!

So Happy Father's Day to my dad, to BIL3, and to all fathers reading this.  I shall drink a beer at some point today in your honor and memory!

Time is getting near to the next HNT!  Remember--July 4th!!  I'm busier than a a one-armed trombone player these days so I might not get the reminders out like some of you expect.  Though I imagine that for half-nekkidness, I'll find the time...  Don't wait until the last minute though!  Send your pics to me so I can post them on the OHNT site!


Red Shoes said...

I love the matching shirts up there in that photo!!

I'm in your camp... we don't really appreciate things until it's too late...


No one Special said...

(( hug ))

MinorityReport said...

-hugs- <3