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Friday, April 22, 2011

I survived!

Some thoughts and observations...
  • Do you think that I'd get the male nurse? Nope. The matronly, experienced nurse? Nope. I get the 20-something hottie that I'm sure starts her day at the gym at 5:00AM, and is cheery, perky and gorgeous by 8:00AM every day.
  • And you know what? It didn't bother me in the least. As BFD eloquently observed, I was "just another old man and his butt..."
  • They ought to give you a teddy bear, or something else to squeeze. There's nothing to do with your arms when you're in the "position". If phones would have been allowed, I would have live-texted some of you!
  • A little foreplay would have gone a long ways. All I got was, "I'm going to touch you now", and wham, bam, he's in. Girls, you agree, right?
  • Much to my mother's relief, her boy is definitely not gay boy material.
  • I have a new-found awe for those of you who enjoy anal sex, or putting larger things up there. This probe was about the width of the doctor's little finger, but it felt like a bowling ball. I'm not sure how you people do it!
  • I'll spare you the details of the preparation for the 18 hours beforehand, but honestly, that was worse than the procedure itself.
So what came of all this? I got a clean bill of health (as well as a clean colon!). Nothing stared back at him, and even better, nothing on the walls that needed to be plucked and sampled! No need for the claw! Colon cancer does not seem to be interested in me at this time!
Happy Earth Day!
Happy Easter! We're doing the family Easter/birthday thing this Sunday. Brunch in the morning, and dinner at Mom's. Maybe sleigh rides this year, too!
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18 comments:

  1. viemoiraApril 22, 2011 1:49 AM

    Glad for your clean bill of health! :)

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  2. SummerApril 22, 2011 4:54 AM

    That's great news! I was thinking about how you were faring and hoping it wouldn't be too traumatic for you.

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  3. Lady SeductionApril 22, 2011 7:54 AM

    Happy for you! As to how those of us who enjoy anal do it, you were right with your observation about foreplay! Anyone who tried it with only the intro you got would get punched in the head (and I am not generally violent)! ;)

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  4. IveyLaneApril 22, 2011 9:47 AM

    Congrats on your successful sigmoidoscopy and the shedding of your anal virginity. I'm sure it was a meaningful moment! But more importantly congrats on the clean bill of health. Here's to many, many more years of enjoying life.

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  5. MediocrityApril 22, 2011 2:24 PM

    I am really glad to hear that you got good news.

    I agree with you about the anal sex...even fingers I just don't enjoy. I've done anal enough times and it just goes from hurting to extremely uncomfortable...kudos to those who can handle it!

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  6. UnknownApril 22, 2011 3:28 PM

    woohoo n the clean bill of health.. bwhahah at the lack of foreplay and the knowledge you could never be a backdoor lover..
    Anal is ok but you have to be completely relaxed for it, definitely not something I could do all the time..and wow that was just TMI for me huh roflmbo

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  7. Richard, Shhh...April 22, 2011 5:50 PM

    Congrats, Os. I was gonna let you know what you & others confirmed: That the prep is far worse than the penetration & exploration. It's that junk we had to drink the day or two before and "pre-cleaning" our system in the bathrooms at home, as I recall! I need another but I have avoided it because of the prep,,, not sure if I will bother again.

    Glad to hear some of our girls like anal cuz I'd like to read more on their insights with the physical sexual feelings it gives them once successfully penetrated. Hint, hint, Ladies! (How does it make you cum compared to other orgasms?)

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  8. Ms ScarlettApril 22, 2011 5:59 PM

    Great news!!

    Glad it went well!

    XO

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  9. The Smoking RedheadApril 22, 2011 6:53 PM

    Yay!

    and

    Yay!

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  10. AnonymousApril 22, 2011 7:03 PM

    So glad you have a cancer-free poop shoot.

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  11. Gucci MamaApril 22, 2011 8:19 PM

    Congratulations?

    I really can't find the appropriate words.

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  12. LoriApril 22, 2011 10:47 PM

    ummm.. Sounds like an interesting way to spend Good Friday. I would have opted for something.... ummm... less invasive.
    But glad you are healthy.
    I have to have mine next year.:(
    I'll send you pictures.
    :)

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  13. Cheeky MinxApril 23, 2011 5:37 AM

    I'm so glad your bottom received a clean bill.

    Congratulations on being healthy and not only surviving the experience but also getting some excellent blog mileage out of it. :P
    xxx

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  14. HubmanApril 23, 2011 6:45 AM

    I had a 30-something hottie of a nurse when I had my vasectomy. Having her inspect my shaving/prep job almost lead to an unfortunate condition, considering the circumstances! I can appreciate the feeling you had with your nurse!

    I'm glad you've got the clean bill of health.

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  15. AnonymousApril 24, 2011 11:22 AM

    happy things went well!!

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  16. AnonymousApril 24, 2011 8:18 PM

    Hopefully now that you've had your "baseline" exam, you won't have to have another one for a long, long time. But, at least you probably lost a couple of pounds with all the prep.

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  17. CourtneyBiCuriousApril 27, 2011 11:45 AM

    Heeey! Are you able to help me apply the HNT code to my new blog? I don't know where to put/paste it! :)
    Thanks.....

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  18. SugarmagApril 28, 2011 7:05 PM

    I'm glad to hear that you survived the procedure, no fun but now it's over! I'm relieved for you.

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