Tiger

I've never liked the attention that Tiger Woods has garnered over the years. Make no doubt about it, I appreciate his skill as a golfer. But the sports media has tripped all over themselves over the years covering every tournament he plays in. Even when he's not in contention (hey, it happens!), he's the center of attention. As far as the media is concerned, the rest of the field needn't bother showing up. TV cameras will always be following him. (sort of like how I'm forced to watch every game that Brett Favre has played this season, even though MT isn't even close to being in "the market"...but that's a rant for a different day).

I don't care about what Tiger did/didn't do, or what his wife was doing with a golf club, or that he doesn't do the fast escape thing too well. But the jokes have been making the email circuit, and since Friday Fill-Ins seems to have taken the week off, this is what you get:

• The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I don't know exactly...put me down for a 5."
• Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
• What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
• Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
• What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
• Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
• Ping just offered Elin an endorsement contract for her own set of drivers; to be named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with."
• Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family--his new name?: Cheetah
• Tiger was driving an Escalade, can he blame the accident on his caddy?
• Hello Mister Woods this is the On Star operator we have detected that an angry person has put a golf club through your window, we are contacting Nike for a new club.
• Who among us doesn't hear a car crash and immediately grab the closest golf club we can find??!!
• Tiger's new movie: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
• Tiger Woods owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
• Poor choice; he should have gone with the driver.