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Monday, May 16, 2005

My Slut Bird Friend

It's that time of year. I've got about three species of birds that fly around my balcony during the spring and summer. As the sun comes up earlier and earlier, the birds are up earlier and earlier. And they have a serious case of the hornies. There's a female sparrow who always builds a nest in the corner of the awning on my balcony. Every morning now, I don't even bother with an alarm clock. My fornicating feathered friends are here like clockwork. My college roommates had nothing on these birds when it comes to noisy sex. And she is one shameless slut. She'll raise her tail for just about any bird that comes along. And she's into the whole interracial thing too. She'll take sparrow, finch, or the weird red colored bird that flies in from time to time. It looks like the skies above Chicago's O'Hare Airport during a blizzard. The birds are just circling, waiting for their chance for a "landing". She must belong to some sort of club where you get bonus points for the most quickies per hour. The only thing worse than bird sex in the morning is when the eggs hatch, and you've got a nestful of kids screaming for breakfast.

Is it weird that I've spent time observing all this at 5 AM? For cursing the birds for getting more than me? For spending that extra minute or two actually watching? I desperately need to get a life....
iTunes: Whiskey Lullaby, Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss

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